"This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this..."
Monday, November 23, 2009, 11:58 PM
back to square one.
currently is talking with bf, what i mean is bestfriend. syah (: each of us are truly and deeply hurt by what our ex's have done to us. we've been bf since the day we know each other through msn from tagged if im not wrong. and he's the only one ive bullied so far. and he said that i talked so much. he reminds me of my beloved ex, syed. duuhhhh ~ cause syah too had arab's blood. what's the big deal anyway.he's super cute with the slenge face throughout. stubborn guy but however he's the nicer among all, have yet to know his true colour. lol. on the 8 dec he'll be serving his 2yrs of national service, pls god let him be a policeman cause i want to see him in that uniform, handsome kan. ouh gosh. *caiiirrr* lol, BUT most importantly, i'll be missing him for sure, i got no one to bully anymore. *wink* im like down with fever and flu and sore throat and can it be any worst than this. omg. *toyong2 hidung* had my 1st QCA practical assignment just now, came unprepared but survived with hariz's help. *pheww* another true story ive found out, on the day of my broke up with that fella ive found out that he actually met with his ex i mean current gf, titybaybe which i shall pronounce titybabi. and they patch up together. how hindustan it can be. and jack told tity that it's KARMA, because i once asked for a break up and now it's his turn. does he knows what KARMA is ? oh, so whatever. besides there will be always one day where i will know the whole story besides his hindustan drama. im moving on slowly and syah is doing it too. ive got nothing to lose anyway. lets see how far they can go. current inbox message. dear labiq an ex JWPS. dear bf my shahrulnizam. dear aidil, he is staying in commonwealth. and new more to come. one to lose lots to go. oh, i never change. goodnight readers.
Saturday, November 21, 2009, 12:36 AM
i don't need to act
yesterday for PM lesson i watched paranormal activity for the second time and it was the third time for syuu. i swear this was the most lame part cause it was far different from the part we watched at the movie. where the girl throw the guy at the camera. i swear it was trauma-listic. and again we lepak at cafe 1 had some toast and hot tea since the day was cold. after much talking and fun we headed home and jack called me up to meet me since he is also on his way back in other words book out from his camp. nervousness and all mixed feelings was what i felt but still i act normal. and when we reached my house we sat under the void deck and this is where we confessed everything. and yes, what that bitch told me was true. its was damn fucking true and i couln't held back my tears eventually it roll down my cheeks. i was trembling with the cold air passing by. but i know deep inside me im strong cause i have nothing to regret with. im ready to accept anything and yes, today is the end of our relationship. he finally asked for it and what crossed my mind was he asked that bitch a short meet up. omg. i just say this little phrase. " treasure the ones who treasures you cause when you lose that treasure you are a trash " and he kept silent. what more i could say. enough is enough. im strong and i think you don't deserve me. and u said that yourself. goodbye jack. forever.
, 12:17 AM
i wish we could switch roles
Pull up your pants (just like 'em) Take out the trash (just like 'em) Gettin' your cash like 'em Fast like 'em Girl u wanna act like he did (i'm talkin bout) Security codes on everything vibrate on your phone so it never ring Joined account and another one he don’t know about (hey) Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get back Would you ask them questions like me, like where you be at'cause I’m out, 4 in the mornin on the corner rollin doing my own thing What If I Had A Thing On The Side Made You Cry Would The Rules Change Up Or Would They Still Apply If I, Played You Like A Toy Sometimes I wish I could act Like A Boy Can’t be getting mad What u mad Can’t handle that Girl go ahead and be (just like 'em) Go run the streets (just like 'em) Go home missin sleep like em, Creep like em Front wit ur friends, Act hard when u wit' 'em like 'em Keep a straight face when you tell a lie Always keep an airtight alibi Keep it hid in the dark What he don’t know won’t break his heart (hey) Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that Tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get backWould you ask them questions like me, like where you be at 'cause I’m out, 4 in the morning on the corner rolling doing my own thing If I was always gone Let the sun beat me home (Would you like that?) I told u I was with my crew when I knew it wasn’t true If I act like u Walked a mile off in ur shoes (Would you like that?) Messing with ur head again Dose of your own medicine
If I paged u (would you like that?) Had friends (would you like that?) Never call (would you like that?) No No, You wouldn’t like that, No!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 11:21 PM
instant certified BITCH.
a two sided story and a one heart that's taking it. imagine how it really hurts. when you know about ur love one cheated behind your back in a harsh way. eversince i heard that i was speechless. nothing i could say. i told myself. i need to move on and i will with ALLAH blessings and strength. with IBU loves and support eventually i slowly move on. friends in school never fails to make me laugh especially muhd hariz talib in lab precisely and not forgetting my gfs. i tried very hard to forget everything she told me with full descriptions. i hate you jack, seriously i do. and i don't think i shall call you that. i should call you jackass fucker daud ! i have yet to faced you directly and i will one day! ya allah, kau terangi lah hatiku ini untuk menghadapi ini semua cobaan. amin. ibu have been there since i started change in the house, she was aware about my piercing and since there she's been giving me extra love and care, i couldn't even face everyone on monday at school. i kept crying and my appetite has been down lately. at night ibu hugged me and feed me 2 spoons of food for the rest of the day. even as im typing this little post my tears was rolling. how could you be so mean daud, what did i do wrong till you have to do this to me. i thought you said before you was my superhuman and u will always. but ended up with this. maybe this wasn't true but even if it how could you do this ? have sex with somebody behind your girlfriend. omg. whatever it is, im still hurt. and im done with you and your lies and your attitude. you were never true in the first place. thanks.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009, 10:45 PM
zaman ku kental.
"this was stole from syuuee"
as when u read the title you'll know it. lols. i don't know why the heck ive pierced my eyebrow. it looks cool but you know what is KENTAL. and puhlease, zaman bila nak tindik-tindik. i just want to have it and own it and whatever. lols. went to bugis just now after school. i swear i slept the whole journey to school as soon as i step into the mrt which will bounce back and off to tanah merah. i guess i had lesser sweet dreams yesterday night. so after care session and a little "blanja" from our beloved CA. a treat as low as $2 was given, had toast bread and ice milo. (: however it was enjoyable. so after that we trained to bugis since i had this craving of yami yogurt again and wanted to pierce my eyebrow, BUT this part i cannot tahan. syuu & nana WENT FOR WINDOW SHOP. and they really shopped. omg. so they shop a few cheap things but its nice. i wanted to but i can't cus ive spent $80 in topshop. lols. jolly well after that i went to pierce, i thought it was kinda pain but it was TOTALLY NOT. and nana wanted to do too. but something holding her up. so since im happy and they are happy we went home happily. lols. and thats it , ive done it like finally. now my bed is calling. goodnight humans. (:
"wonder what will my tomorrow would be."
, 10:40 PM
the things in life.
yesterday was another bad moments which ive seen my whole entire 18 yrs of life in the house. ntg special yet ntg is memorable.i kept thinking how is my future will be if i were to get married and have my own child. its like misunderunderstanding will forever be there. that's why they call humans being. seeing my parents fought is ntg new so that was what happens yesterday. boring -.-" and i gave up.
her,
i'm SHIKIN.
15 JULY is my favourite day.
MR SUPERHUMAN is on the way.
and fcuk off to those who have NO interests in my heart!
& i'm got it?
"This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this..."
Monday, November 23, 2009, 11:58 PM
back to square one.
currently is talking with bf, what i mean is bestfriend. syah (: each of us are truly and deeply hurt by what our ex's have done to us. we've been bf since the day we know each other through msn from tagged if im not wrong. and he's the only one ive bullied so far. and he said that i talked so much. he reminds me of my beloved ex, syed. duuhhhh ~ cause syah too had arab's blood. what's the big deal anyway.he's super cute with the slenge face throughout. stubborn guy but however he's the nicer among all, have yet to know his true colour. lol. on the 8 dec he'll be serving his 2yrs of national service, pls god let him be a policeman cause i want to see him in that uniform, handsome kan. ouh gosh. *caiiirrr* lol, BUT most importantly, i'll be missing him for sure, i got no one to bully anymore. *wink* im like down with fever and flu and sore throat and can it be any worst than this. omg. *toyong2 hidung* had my 1st QCA practical assignment just now, came unprepared but survived with hariz's help. *pheww* another true story ive found out, on the day of my broke up with that fella ive found out that he actually met with his ex i mean current gf, titybaybe which i shall pronounce titybabi. and they patch up together. how hindustan it can be. and jack told tity that it's KARMA, because i once asked for a break up and now it's his turn. does he knows what KARMA is ? oh, so whatever. besides there will be always one day where i will know the whole story besides his hindustan drama. im moving on slowly and syah is doing it too. ive got nothing to lose anyway. lets see how far they can go. current inbox message. dear labiq an ex JWPS. dear bf my shahrulnizam. dear aidil, he is staying in commonwealth. and new more to come. one to lose lots to go. oh, i never change. goodnight readers.
Saturday, November 21, 2009, 12:36 AM
i don't need to act
yesterday for PM lesson i watched paranormal activity for the second time and it was the third time for syuu. i swear this was the most lame part cause it was far different from the part we watched at the movie. where the girl throw the guy at the camera. i swear it was trauma-listic. and again we lepak at cafe 1 had some toast and hot tea since the day was cold. after much talking and fun we headed home and jack called me up to meet me since he is also on his way back in other words book out from his camp. nervousness and all mixed feelings was what i felt but still i act normal. and when we reached my house we sat under the void deck and this is where we confessed everything. and yes, what that bitch told me was true. its was damn fucking true and i couln't held back my tears eventually it roll down my cheeks. i was trembling with the cold air passing by. but i know deep inside me im strong cause i have nothing to regret with. im ready to accept anything and yes, today is the end of our relationship. he finally asked for it and what crossed my mind was he asked that bitch a short meet up. omg. i just say this little phrase. " treasure the ones who treasures you cause when you lose that treasure you are a trash " and he kept silent. what more i could say. enough is enough. im strong and i think you don't deserve me. and u said that yourself. goodbye jack. forever.
, 12:17 AM
i wish we could switch roles
Pull up your pants (just like 'em) Take out the trash (just like 'em) Gettin' your cash like 'em Fast like 'em Girl u wanna act like he did (i'm talkin bout) Security codes on everything vibrate on your phone so it never ring Joined account and another one he don’t know about (hey) Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get back Would you ask them questions like me, like where you be at'cause I’m out, 4 in the mornin on the corner rollin doing my own thing What If I Had A Thing On The Side Made You Cry Would The Rules Change Up Or Would They Still Apply If I, Played You Like A Toy Sometimes I wish I could act Like A Boy Can’t be getting mad What u mad Can’t handle that Girl go ahead and be (just like 'em) Go run the streets (just like 'em) Go home missin sleep like em, Creep like em Front wit ur friends, Act hard when u wit' 'em like 'em Keep a straight face when you tell a lie Always keep an airtight alibi Keep it hid in the dark What he don’t know won’t break his heart (hey) Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that Tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get backWould you ask them questions like me, like where you be at 'cause I’m out, 4 in the morning on the corner rolling doing my own thing If I was always gone Let the sun beat me home (Would you like that?) I told u I was with my crew when I knew it wasn’t true If I act like u Walked a mile off in ur shoes (Would you like that?) Messing with ur head again Dose of your own medicine
If I paged u (would you like that?) Had friends (would you like that?) Never call (would you like that?) No No, You wouldn’t like that, No!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 11:21 PM
instant certified BITCH.
a two sided story and a one heart that's taking it. imagine how it really hurts. when you know about ur love one cheated behind your back in a harsh way. eversince i heard that i was speechless. nothing i could say. i told myself. i need to move on and i will with ALLAH blessings and strength. with IBU loves and support eventually i slowly move on. friends in school never fails to make me laugh especially muhd hariz talib in lab precisely and not forgetting my gfs. i tried very hard to forget everything she told me with full descriptions. i hate you jack, seriously i do. and i don't think i shall call you that. i should call you jackass fucker daud ! i have yet to faced you directly and i will one day! ya allah, kau terangi lah hatiku ini untuk menghadapi ini semua cobaan. amin. ibu have been there since i started change in the house, she was aware about my piercing and since there she's been giving me extra love and care, i couldn't even face everyone on monday at school. i kept crying and my appetite has been down lately. at night ibu hugged me and feed me 2 spoons of food for the rest of the day. even as im typing this little post my tears was rolling. how could you be so mean daud, what did i do wrong till you have to do this to me. i thought you said before you was my superhuman and u will always. but ended up with this. maybe this wasn't true but even if it how could you do this ? have sex with somebody behind your girlfriend. omg. whatever it is, im still hurt. and im done with you and your lies and your attitude. you were never true in the first place. thanks.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009, 10:45 PM
zaman ku kental.
"this was stole from syuuee"
as when u read the title you'll know it. lols. i don't know why the heck ive pierced my eyebrow. it looks cool but you know what is KENTAL. and puhlease, zaman bila nak tindik-tindik. i just want to have it and own it and whatever. lols. went to bugis just now after school. i swear i slept the whole journey to school as soon as i step into the mrt which will bounce back and off to tanah merah. i guess i had lesser sweet dreams yesterday night. so after care session and a little "blanja" from our beloved CA. a treat as low as $2 was given, had toast bread and ice milo. (: however it was enjoyable. so after that we trained to bugis since i had this craving of yami yogurt again and wanted to pierce my eyebrow, BUT this part i cannot tahan. syuu & nana WENT FOR WINDOW SHOP. and they really shopped. omg. so they shop a few cheap things but its nice. i wanted to but i can't cus ive spent $80 in topshop. lols. jolly well after that i went to pierce, i thought it was kinda pain but it was TOTALLY NOT. and nana wanted to do too. but something holding her up. so since im happy and they are happy we went home happily. lols. and thats it , ive done it like finally. now my bed is calling. goodnight humans. (:
"wonder what will my tomorrow would be."
, 10:40 PM
the things in life.
yesterday was another bad moments which ive seen my whole entire 18 yrs of life in the house. ntg special yet ntg is memorable.i kept thinking how is my future will be if i were to get married and have my own child. its like misunderunderstanding will forever be there. that's why they call humans being. seeing my parents fought is ntg new so that was what happens yesterday. boring -.-" and i gave up.
![](http://i647.photobucket.com/albums/uu198/_toilefilante/1-2.jpg";")
got it?![](http://i647.photobucket.com/albums/uu198/_toilefilante/2-2.jpg")
![](http://i647.photobucket.com/albums/uu198/_toilefilante/3-2.jpg<align="left")
![](http://i647.photobucket.com/albums/uu198/_toilefilante/3-2.jpg")